Step By Step Guidance for Change Your Life Into Success
This article I am writing to inspire anyone who really wants to have a change and progress in their life but don’t know how they really can change their life?
Majority of middle aged men are feeling lost. Many feel loneliness, friendlessness, financial instability, depression and complete loss of time which they had in their life. They don’t know how to change their life.
Few years back when I am at my 32 birthday I was also in this state. Then I really felt huge loss. I started thinking I it really possible a middle aged man to become happier and successful in his life.
I started with asking question, even though initially these question was keeping me worried all my days, however after few days or week, I started making my path clear.
Here I am sharing with you my few experience, which I felt valuable for anyone to have a better life, This statement doesn’t mean that I am heavily successful person when I am writing this, it means I have better life and have a better plan that I was having 3 years back.
Many of us evaluate our life with the level of success we have in certain areas, which are job satisfaction, financial stability, goal achievement & relationship.
If they felt comfortable in these area, they really feel happy about the life they have.
Is it possible to be successful in these areas when I am at my 35th birthday?.
it was possible atleast if you would have made better plan on your 30th birthday, but what if you didn’t and you are at your35th birthday?
Make a plan today, so that same feelings will not be their when you are at your forties or fifties or even when you retire.
Start a disciplined life as early as possible. T Harv Eker1 says that the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
What does it mean to be successful and How to start to change your life?
It is always good to start by looking into yourself. I identify were you are. Looking back into your own life is better than comparing yourself with others. Many people compare their life by seeing the achievement of their friends or relatives. After the increased use of social media majority feel depressed with the changes they have seen in the life of other people.
If you are only depressed by seeing it will not help, but if you use these feelings to look into your life and at least try to change it will help you more.
Simple exercise to identify where you stand today?
Identify the areas where you need improvements. A simple exercise you can do for this. This exercise is originally taken from one on my mentor Tony Robbins by this is more a simple form than what he teaches.
Take an A4 sixe paper, and make a big circle possible in it. And write 100% outside of this. This mean if you achieve 100% successful in your life, all areas I am going to explain will falls on the circle you are drawn.
Now make seven lines on different axis starting from the centre. And write following words on that lines.
- Health & Fitness
- Financial status
- Career/Job satisfaction
- Spirituality/Giving / Charity
- Learning / investing on yourself
These are 7 key areas one needs to improve, however there are many areas, but I felt they are connected with these key areas.
The picture will somewhat look like this
What you see inside the circle is what you are now. Once you identify yourself, you can start working on each part.
Ok, I identified my areas where I need to Improve, Now What?
Yes, actions are important. Take massive action.
Ok Viju, you told to take massive action. But I don’t even know what action I need to take? Can you make it clear?
Of course I would like to help you by suggesting the ways I did to solve same problems in my life and still I do to further improve or solve existing one.
Many people don’t even know what action they can take to solve various issue in their life, I believe this happens because of lack in awareness about various opportunities. The only way to increase awareness is to ask people who are already successful I those areas or learn about different strategies that can be applied to solve issues.
There are many trainers who are expert in handling these issues, the best way to start is by following or subscribing these people in various social media we use and listening to them constantly.
If you are really serious about different areas we already explain, then you will start focusing on solving issues you have in these areas.
Listening and reading life changing books that suggest you solutions, which are highly helpful and heavily recommended.
Let me give you few insight about the various strategies you can apply to improve these areas. These are the tips I used to change my life. These life changing tips will also works for anyone who not only read this but also apply it in real life, I am also going to suggest some books that helps you to change your life, you have to read it.
Reading it will not only changes your life by changing your thought, but also supply with Ideas and awareness which you can practically apply to get results
If you are not ready to take action at least by start learning, you don’t receive any success. I would say them to stop reading and “go to hell”.
Health and fitness
If you are not healthy and suffering from various disease it is not your mistake, you should not blame yourself for not being healthy.
First start accepting yourself in the way you are. You can still have better health and vitality if you start accepting yourself.
A small exercise you can do is by looking into the mirror everyday morning.
Immediately after waking up and saying “I Love You”, “I accept You”, “You are Enough”. If you do this simple exercise every day morning for next 30 days this will change your attitude towards yourself. This looks so simple. But this is how you bring changes into your life, slowly and steadily.
Just write above lines on the mirror and read and feel every word whenever you look into it.
Just remember “You are not your body, You are not your mind”.You are a spiritual creation and sprit living in the body and mind is an important tool which you can use for every purpose.
If you think you are overweight, its ok, one can be happy and healthy even if they are overweight. But if you want to change, still you can do.
No one became obese in one day, those extra calories you have consumed for long period of time have put some extra fat in your body.
So Little changes you do from today will compounds and gives you huge return later.
Simply asking questions in your mind can help you to reduce your body weight.
Here is an example, Think and imaging yourself in the ideal weight and ideal body. Then before doing any task you ask yourself, does a healthy person do this?, when you are going to use lift, you can ask does a healthy person do this?, if answer is no, use stairs.
When you feel to have an ice-cream or sweet after a heavy meal, ask does a healthy person do this?
Like this you can ask questions every time. Continuously asking such questions can change your brain wiring, hence changes your belief and habits.
Start doing exercise. Don’t do heavy exercise from day one, take small step, go for a small walk, joining a health club and start exercising for 15 -20 min and gradually create interest and increase the duration, Instead if you do 1-2 hours of exercise from day 1 you will end up extremely tired, this will demotivate you and you may stop going to gym or stop exercising.
A good read I recommends is to listen Antony William and reading his books medical medium, cleanse to heal and liver health. Or by attending an online course wildfit.
Improving Financial Health
I read the book “Rich dad and poor dad” when I was completely broke and in huge dept I ever had till now. This book had tremendous influence in me. This book made me understand how to improve our financial health.
Becoming rich is not about how much money you make, its about how much money you keep.
If you start learning about money, you will ends up having more money.
What I was doing before is saving after spending, which was entirely a wrong plan. Funny thing is I never knew this till I was 32, no one ever taught me about it.
People are not comfortable to talk about money. Majority didn’t know how to manage money.
Jim Rohn says ”Majority says if I was rich I would have better plan, but the fact is, If you had better plan, you would have been rich”.
So start paying you first. Then spend what is left. If you are someone who spends too much, start to live with 70% money and invest the rest 30%, later it increases to 40%
A suggested read is Jar system of money management by T.Harv Eker. This is simple and effective form of money management.
Some suggested reads are Rich dad poor dad by Robert kiyosaki, Money master game & unshakeble by Tony robbins and I can teach how to become rich by ramit seti.
Millionaire mind intensive by T.Harve Eker is a good course one can start with.
Do you love your job?. Majority don’t love. But still they go for it as they have to meet many requirement they have in their life. If you are someone like this, its time for you to change.
You can have a good carrier only when you love what you are doing. It doest matter whether you are paid adequately or not.
You income directly proportional to your ability and your value. What your company pay you is the amount that pays ‘only to you’. You might have seen people with same or less experience, or education are getting more payment than you and people with more experience than you are getting less salary than you.
Its because of ‘your value’ in that company.
‘Income never exceeds personality development’, said by Jim Rohn. I felt it true.
Firstly, by become more valuable person is the only way to have successful carrier, you should grow into a level that, if you stop working today, your employer should have trouble. No one dare to lose such people.
One simple assessment you can do yourself is by understanding how any people talks about you and your works in that company. If more people are aware about the value you are creating, more successful carrier you have.
Secondly, move from your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is your money zone. You have to move out of it if you want to grow. People are so adamant in changing their comfort zone.
They thinks about safety, workload, job comfort, meeting and working with new people, their own ability to do certain task or some says I am old. And the internal conflicts and scarcity about these thing sticks people into their comfort zone.
Make your heart filled with courage, to do thing you are scared about, that is what going to make you strong, and help you in growing. Remember, ‘Human beings are the great creation of God, he can do anything in his life, only he needs is strong mind’
Thirdly, keep you surrounded with ‘only quality people’. If your company is with 5 losers, you will be the 6th one or if your company is with 5 successful people, you will be the 6th one.
If Your friends are the one who always ask you question, they are not good one.Your frensd should be one like that to whom you go for guidance.
I have seen people give advises like not to do this or that, or if you shows your ability, company will give more responsibility and work.
When you look into that same person you will understand that, he might be the one staying in same post or position from the day he started working in that company, or might be the one who is not getting good increment or pay hike and he might be the one who always complaint or not satisfied with his job.
He will have complaints about the type of work he is getting, he never like his boss, he always quarrel with other colleagues especially the one who works more than him and he might be the one who spend his time talking about others.
If you are someone who is working in same post without any promotion or pay hike, you should understand that, you are still the same person in your knowledge and your abilities. Improvise yourself, learn new skills. There is no other quick way than earning to improve your career growth.
People complain about the company/employer they are working for, or the works they are doing, but they continue to do same job in same place till the end… Isn’t that strange??
If you don’t like your employer/job, change it. Find a new one.
No one ever sign a contract with the employer that “I will continue working for this company till I die”.
Think that, whatever you have today is because of the job you are doing, so love and respect it, contribute more value and achieve more success.
This area is about your relationship with others (IPR) and your personnel relation ship
Tips to improve your inter personal relationship (IPR)
The formula for improving your IPR is this “Respect + Listen + Asking questions”.
This simple formula really works
Respect other person without thinking about younger or elder, senior or junior, higher class or lower class.
Listen what they have to talk, every one want to make other person a listener however being a good listener improves your inter personal relationship (IPR)
Asking questions will give a feeling to others that you are interested to know more. This makes them to talk more, it make them to ventilate their ideas. If they feel your interest, that makes them feel closer to you.
Book you should read: how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie
Tips to improve your personal relationship with your spouse
The formula “Respect + Listen + Asking questions” also works well in personal relationship. Few more are explained here
- Focus on good
Have you ever notice that when you are angry to your spouse, you start to see problem in everything he/she does. This happens because, when you are angry with someone your brain thinks that, you really want to be angry with them, so it start to fine things that makes you angrier.
Anger is a strong emotion. Thought you thinks with such strong emotion goes into the subconscious mind, whatever goes into the subconscious starts to manifest.
So if you are angry, and thinking about the bad of others, you are going to attract the same again and again.
So if you are angry, consciously focus on the good thing your spouse do, he or she might be good in something try to find that, changing focus into good thing will help your mind to relax, more over you start seeing good things your spouse was doing for you.
- Practice forgiveness.
If you didn’t behaved well with someone, say sorry or if anyone or your spouse gives you bad experience forgive them. Offcourse this is difficult. But once you practice it, you can do it easily.
Start forgiveness a practice, this will only benefit you in many ways which include mental, physical & spiritual wellbeing.
You are here to be happy and enjoy your life peacefully.
A good read for couples is this best seller book: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book by John Gray
Alright, What if I am single and not into any relationship?
Offcourse you can be single in your life, its completely your choice. I don’t have any suggestions on this matter however, it is better to have someone with you in life. We are here you share, have someone in company during your ups and downs will give you more strength. But it completely your choice. If your choice is to live with someone I have few tips to find the perfect partner in your life.
- Law of attraction technique to attract perfect partner for a stable relationship in life
If you are single and want to get into a relationship, I want you to watch following video. This is by one of my mentor Mr.Bob Proctor, he clearly explain some practice you can do to attract the right person into your life. Watch it fully here and do exactly what he says. This really works well for anyone who do it.
It’s a myth that human should live a happy life all the time. It’s a myth that only rich people can live happy life. It’s a wrong belief that if ‘I am poor I don’t deserve happiness’.
Happiness is not something given to us freely. Happiness is something we need to create.
You heard me right, we need to create happiness.
It’s not necessary that one person need to be happy all the time, vice versa one person need to be sad all the time.
We feel happiness on the basis of focus we give to our experience. We experience good and bad in the life.
When it is good we really feel happy, and when it is bad we feel sad.
One should face both, people loss happiness when they focus more on the bad things happened to their life.
If someone rides a motorcycle every day and one day he had a minor accident, not because of his mistake, he will start blaming his ‘time, or the situation’ which created the accident. It’s common that people used to say ‘I am having bad time now, I am facing problems in my life on daily basis.’
The fact is that he is more focusing on the bad things now. If you focus on the bad, you will experience more such situation in your life, so consciously we need to change our focus.
Sometime people are broke or ill or faced a huge loss in their business, which takes them to depressive state of mind. Majority stays there for long period of time.
See everything changes. If you have bad situation it will change, remember that ‘Night always followed by day, summer always followed by winter’. So if you are broke, or failed, tell to your mind that I am broke for now, but not tomorrow.
We have to create a positive attitude to everything, It’s not easy but it is possible, once you create it and consciously start thinking and focusing on positive, you will gradually find a huge shift on your attitude.
I was completly a negative person few years back. I always blamed others and God for whatever happened in my life, with the help of my good friend I started changing my attitude slowly, which had huge impact on my life later.
Practice positiveness, law of attraction works positively when you have such attitude, If you focus on good and feel grateful about it, you will have more good things happening in your life.
Tips to be happier in your life.
- Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude have huge impact in my life, it changes our focus to the positive things happened in our life, gratitude journal need to be practiced by everyone who want to be happy. You may do following exercise if you want to be happy.
Exercise 1: Every day before going to bed immediately after waking up write 5 to 10 things you are grateful for in your life, now don’t say to me that
Oh Viju! There is nothing in my life that makes me feel grateful.
You get it wrong buddy, if you are alive and reading this now, you need to be grateful about it, if you have a house or room where you can rest, you need to be grateful about it, if you have a mobile or computer you need to be grateful about it, like that many thing are there start focusing and recognising it.
Exercise 2: Think about all good things happened in your life and feel grateful about it, practice this just before you sleep. Keep your mind filled with good things happened in your life.
- Exercise (Work out)
If you are stressed and feeling sad, just do some exercise. This change focus of your mind to your body and studies found out that exercise elevate your mood
- Go out side
When you are feeling sad or moody don’t simply sit and think about it. See, ‘emotion is energy in motion’.
Start moving, go for a walk, see and talk to people, go for jogging these are effective measures.
- Spend less time on your phone
Social media have huge influence on our mind. Which gives us opportunity to look into others life, people usually post good things happened in their life on their social media account, so if you are sad by looking into other person and how happy they are in their life will make you sadder.
- Listen to music
Music elevate our spirit. Look into the past and remember a situation you where enjoying a particular music, try to listen to the same song, this can bring back the memories and it will change your mood.
- Talk to someone who is a good listener
This can help you to get relief from your internal pressure. Find someone, it could be your friend or relative, talk to them. It will be very helpful to you.
Spirituality/Giving / Charity
Do we need to do charity?. What is the benefit of doing it?. If you give something to someone, that means you are losing it, isn’t so?
These are the most common question.
Some people losing something especially something valuable, like money, is extremely pain full.
In the physical world it is correct.
But doing charity is spiritual. Your first step of receiving is giving.
The foundation of human spirituality is sharing and caring. Only a person who have abundance mentality share things. Your thoughts are so powerful, when you start sharing with other people, when you do charity, your mind is sending signals of abundance to the universe.
So what is the benefit?
Universe don’t give what you have given.
It gives back in multiples.
You get tons more than what you have given. Start doing charity, make it a practice.
The ideal part of sharing is 10% of what you are getting. But majority don’t like to give that much, no problem, start with small, make it a practice.
This will change your mentality to contribute more. Once you start receiving more, this will help you to give more. You need to start doing it when you are poor, then only it give strength to you to give more when you are rich.
Learning or Investing on yourself.
If you are not learning you are dying. We have to evolve in our life. For evolving we needs wisdom. The only way for getting it is to learn more. Always learn more and more.
Learning increase your value. Experts and specialist are paid more than general ones.
Find out a niche in which you are interested in. Stick to it. Learn more about it. Slowly and gradually, you will evolve.
Your success depends on the hard work you put it in. There is no short cut.
Learning new things and applying it will bring success.
I completed my Training, Course, Education, Now what learning you are talking about?
Learning never ends, it’s a continuous process. It is not about what you are doing in your school. There are many thing one can learn, something is related to a niche you are interested in. Or something might be an advance lever/ professional level training, sometimes, this might be any particular skill you are lacking in.
World is evolving every day every night, are you capable to live in this world, did you evolved. Changing yourself is not easy task. Lots ok knowledge and skills are required for it. These skills won’t come up easily. Spend some time, dig deep, grab maximum knowledge and take action.
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